Too Much

I don't function well with Unknowns.  And, perhaps that is why I haven't found the time to write much lately:  too many unknowns are stressing me out right now.  Like what, you ask?

Well, for the first time EVER, I'm not able to pay my bills.  That is H-U-G-E-L-Y stressful.


I've applied for a full-time secretarial job in town (interviews are next week).  It won't pay all my bills, but it will cover a huge chunk of 'em.  That's been the one big problem of owning my own business:  no guaranteed income every two weeks in the form of a paycheck.  The new potential job is an 8:30 - 4:00 shift, Mondays - Fridays, and my thinking - if I got it - is that I'd then work in my office in town from 4:00 - 7:00 or 8:00 or so each night.  And the weekends, if I needed to.  Ideally, I'd have the traditional weekend off, though, and be able to work from home.  That, though, negates the option of having gallery hours.  Hmm, as I think about it, maybe it would make more sense to go home right away on the week days and get homestead stuff done those evenings (or do office work from home) . . . and then be open in the gallery on Saturdays.  Home on Sundays.  Anyway, beyond getting everything to them that I can in preparation for the interviews, maybe I shouldn't spend any more energy thinking about my schedule until I know if I HAVE the job or not!


Then, there's still the whole thing of opening my own food business in town.  And, that's a decision that needs to be made BEFORE I commit to this secretarial job - assuming I'm lucky enough to get it.  It's not the kind of gig where I'd feel comfortable going ahead and starting it and then, 7 weeks in, say, "Gosh, you know, I'm going to open my restaurant now.  Buh-bye."


So, where are we on all of that?  The owner of the Option PP property is VERY anxious to sell and would consider a very reasonable sum down on a Contract for Deed.  That still leaves me with a building in bad shape and an empty kitchen, but the seller's realtor is a commercial realtor and feels he can get me all the kitchen equipment I'd need for about $5,000 . . . which seems insanely low, but it IS a buyer's market.


My ideal situation, at this point, would be to buy the equipment / business at Option P and then have a long-term (5 years, at least) rental agreement on the building.  Buying it all outright is too prohibitive.  That space is the best one for all my wants.  The way *I* look at it (re my offer) is that the owner would be free to pursue her other interests (apparently she has something else goin' on) and yet have a steady, monthly income from my renting.  Best of both worlds, eh?  I've had an inquiry in to my realtor about that option for about a week, but the fact that there's been no response doesn't bode well.  Just requested an update from him this AM.

I thought I'd written about the bakery plan but, in looking over my (surprisingly FEW!) posts of the past couple weeks, I see I didn't.  After Options P and PP had kind of fallen through, I focused on finding a licensed kitchen in town from which to operate a bakery only.  I got one nailed down, was on their schedule for the entire month of October, was working with the State on all the pertinent licensing, etc. when I got the word back that the Board of Trustees (of that particular kitchen) had said that they would NOT grant me a monthly rental fee.  Nope, instead, I'd have to pay the regular $10/hour rental fee.  Are you KIDDING???  Even if I was only in there 20 hours a week (which wouldn't be enough), that would be $800 a month!  Are you KIDDING????  So, instead of getting a guaranteed monthly rental fee from me for the next year on a kitchen that sits EMPTY 85% of the year, they're gonna get nothing.  What the . . . ?  Yet another from-high-excitement (after meeting with the wonderful director of the building) to a crashing low.  WHY are the Powers That Be so against me regarding these plans???

In the meantime, I am still pursuing the other possibly-rentable licensed kitchens in town.  I'll let you know what happens there.

In case I've been too confusing to keep up with, my business plans at this point are one of two:

1. Full-time secretarial job + existing web/graphic design business.
2. Bakery + existing web/graphic design business.

Unless, of course, I could rent Option P . . . in which case it would be restaurant, bakery, & gallery.


Sigh.  All of this has been a huge part of why I haven't written much.  Just too many unknowns.  I'm looking forward to decisions being made and having a clearly delineated path.  It's just frustrating when such a large part of MAKING those decisions is out of MY hands.


In other news, the ex and his girlfriend moved back to town last week.  Nothing much to report there.  I've seen him once to drop off some boxes.  It was awkward, of course.  I don't think he expected such a cold reception from me.  'Nuf said there.

In the spirit of saving money, I've cancelled Netflix . . . which is saying a LOT for this movie buff!  But, it has forced me to acquaint myself even more with the wonderful library system we have up here, and I've been keeping myself in my personal source of relaxation (i.e. movies) just fine.  :)

Also, and as an FYI for those of you who call me, I dropped my office land-line.  That was the one ending in 1980.  I just didn't use my office phone enough to warrant the $55/month.  And, the calls are forwarded to my cellphone, anyway.  Or, at least, they will be for these next two months.  Then I'll drop that service, too.  The only bummer is that my cellphone has LOUSY reception in my office.  So, I can see (on the display) that you are trying to call me, but, if I pick up and try to speak, the signal is HORRIBLE.  Then I have to walk outside to the front entrance of the office building or sit out in my car to talk.  Still, it's worth it, monetarily.  So, be prepared to leave me a voice mail and have me call you back.

In other telephone and money-saving news, when I was out working in the ex's old office space those couple of weeks ago, I found and was reminded that he had a Bluetooth attachment for his phone system out there . . . which I thought I should be able to use with my own cellphone (vs. the house - also a cellphone, just to confuse you - line).  I finally hooked it up yesterday, and it WORKS!  (Dropping the house line should save me about $70/month!!)  There are some extenuating difficulties with it that I'm going to try to fix, eventually (can't move around when I'm on the phone - have to stand right there where it's all hooked up to the 3 watt booster, etc.).  And, I'm going to wait for a poor weather day to test it again to make sure the signal is still strong enough . . . and make sure I have free roaming with that plan . . . and if that's all good, I'll drop the house line.  That's the one ending in 0209.  So, again for those of you who call me and unless you hear that it didn't work, I am dropping that line, too.  For the first time since moving to Swamp River Ridge, I'll only have ONE telephone number!  Whoo-hoooo!!!

So, just to be clear as mud . . . the ONLY phone number I'm going to have (for EVERYTHING) is the one ending in 7998.  Got it?  Good.  ;)

Finally, you can thank an old friend, Mrs. EHB, for this post.  I got an e-mail from her yesterday saying, "I am just writing to let you know I have missed reading your posts over the last week!"  Nuthin' like a gentle kick in the pants to get me writing again.  ;)


So.  That's me right now.  On with the day.

Home

I feel like I'm Ali Baba and surrounded by the gold and gems of the secret cave, but I don't know which piece to pick up first.  I'm surrounded by things that I want to grab, want to DO all at once . . . but I don't know where to start.  In other words, I am home for two days.  Two.  Whole.  Days!  I haven't that luxury since May 24th & 25th!

The talk with my wise mama (and another that followed with both her & Dad) that I alluded to earlier has resulted in this:  I need my own store-front . . . well, office, really . . . in town.  In supporting myself financially, what is it that I really WANT to spend those hours doing?  The answer is my photography & photographic notecard business.  Both locally and online.  What's the second-best way to support myself financially?  My graphic & web design business.


Now, I've been trying to get the 1st business up and going from home since March of '07.  The graphic & web design business has been hovering over the ground for about 2 years, I'm guessing.  And, as much as I believe that I CAN overcome my personal obstacles because working (at those jobs) from home is SUCH an ideal situation . . . I can't.  I just DON'T have the self-discipline.  I need to GO somewhere to work on those things.  Have a space where it can all be spread out all the time.  And, yes, I could convert one of the rooms here in the house to be my studio, but the fact is that I like each of the rooms just as they are (if they were CLEAN - ha!) . . . and my office (room) isn't large enough.  


I need to have SET HOURS in my studio / store-front.  I need to be able to tell clients / customers WHERE they can meet with me.  WHERE we can go over, in person, what they want done regarding a website.  WHERE they can see some of my photography and choose which images they'd like me to make into cards.  I have my cards in two business in town, but I'm not keeping either of those stocked properly . . . or with timely inventory.  For example, the flower shop wants Father's Day cards.  Father's Day is 4 days away.  Do I have any of them in there?  Nope.  There's an art gallery in town that wants to carry my cards.  I think this last winter was the 2nd that I'd promised the owner to present them to her quarterly-meeting juried committee.  And I still haven't done it.


I'm in danger of losing a website client right now because I can't commit definite hours each week to the work.  At the moment, I'm sure she doesn't find me very dependable.  I've already done about half the work for her new & improved website . . . hours which I won't bill her for until the job is complete . . . but if I don't finish the job (or, more to the point, she finds someone who WILL right NOW)?  Well, I can kiss those couple of hundred dineros (already spent in hours) away.

So!  Here's my plan:  these past couple of days, since the night of my revelation, I have been shopping around town for office space.  I tell them that I'll be a good financial bet since, as a renter, I'll hardly ever BE there (to begin with), and I'll rarely (if EVER) be there at night . . . thus using the barest of utilities, etc., etc.  I've had 4 strike-outs so far, but one of those folks have a possibility opening August 1st.  I really need to get into something before then, though.  Like, next week, if possible!  Today, I'll be on to the 5th in my line of options.


Okay.  In all its jumbled ramblings, I'm gonna post this w/o further ado (or proof-reading).  I fix any errors later.  :)  I'm pooped.

My Last Official Nannying Day (Sob!)

Yesterday was my last official nannying day with The Peanut.  :(  Now that I'm a working girl and an income of a certain monetary level has moved up the proverbial ladder to Top Priority (within reason, of course), I can no longer afford (grrr - that darn money issue that we all face!) to take care of her each week.  She's been My Girl Friday since July of 2008.

I'm desperate to not lose the special connection she and I have, though, so I still plan on hanging out with her in the evenings at least once every week or two  . . . or taking her for overnights.  Fortunately, "I want to go to Boppee's house!" is still a common request.  :)

I knew it was gonna be a bittersweet day when I arrived to see this gorgeous bouquet glowing in the early morning sun.

Later in the day, The Peanut came to me saying, "Boppee, I pick a flowa for yoo!"  I took it, saying thank you, and asked (testing her), "Oooh!  What kind is it?"

Why, "A 'Ump Up'," of course!  (Johnny Jump Up.)

After this one, she picked a buttercup and asked what it was called.  I said, "That's a buttercup!"  Several minutes later, that little mind working the whole time, she asked, "Dis 'buttah-cup' . . . but no buttah on it, wight?"

Then we planted two seed potatoes that The Peanut had gotten from Grandma J (Mama Pea).

And watered . . . .

And now she'll get to watch her garden grow!

I am just about the luckiest woman alive to have gotten to share the past two years with this precious little one.  Thanks, L & C, for sharing her with me!

Happy May Day . . . a Day Late

Morning, all!

I was a zombie yesterday - downright exhausted - and I got to sleep in this morning which was WONDERFUL . . . but I still feel run over. And now, my eyes are squinty and a bit painful. I REALLY hope I'm not getting sick. Baby Girl (who I nanny for) is on antibiotics for a little eye/nose/ears infection, so . . . ? Echinacea, here I come!!!

I worked three FULL days this week, and, with an hour & a half tacked on to either end for drive time . . . plus some errands, those were long days. And, when work starts @ 8:00 and you need to be driving for 90 minutes, well you can do the math. (Remember, I'm NOT a morning person!)

Tom's been in Grand Rapids (just over a 4 1/2 hour drive away) since last Sunday (home today), so the dogs have been with me at work . . . languishing (they'd rather not, thank you very much) in the truck during those long days. They are SUCH good riders / sitters / waiters, thank goodness! The folks whose house I'm at have two dogs, too, so there's generally an hour or so of playtime outside for ALL of us (4 dogs plus Baby Girl & me) in the afternoons. But, otherwise, it's a long day for them. :( Thank you, Maisy & Tucker!

Since Tom's accident, he's not been able to do his Trapper Cabin Handyman Services for obvious reasons. So, he's applied for a couple of "desk jobs" . . . one back up on the Rez and one in town. I'm sure that with the economy being what it is, there will be many applicants for each, but I also feel confident that once Tom gets in for an interview, he'll be a shoe-in. Keep your fingers crossed for us. He's not excited about going to work for The Man again, but, on the other hand, he didn't particularly love being self-employed as a Mr. Fixit much, either. So, better luck this time?

Meanwhile, during this time of financial turmoil that has forced both of us to look at what's REALLY important (to each of us both individually and as a couple), my realization has been that Swamp River Ridge is what defines me. Not that it's always good to let a single "thing" define you, but the words 'Swamp River Ridge' are HUGELY all-encompassing. It's this piece of land, the animals, the house, the lifestyle. So, to that end, what can I do to make sure I can KEEP it all . . . while being here, physically, the majority of the time?

(Okay, chores and a few other online duties have kept me away, but I'm back.)

Continuing with the above . . . . I sat down and made a list entitled 'Working at Home'. It has 4 subcategories:

• Things I Can Do To Make Money NOW
• Jobs Currently In The Works
• Future Income Ideas
• Things I Can Do To Start Money Coming In

It was a good way to see ALL the options I have (18, at the moment!).

Okay, instead of waiting 'til I can finish this, I'll go ahead and post it now. The day's getting away from me. I'll try to get back to it before too long.