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"Life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful."
- Unknown

"That which does not kill you, makes you stronger."
- Handed down through the ages.

"Life's tough. It's even tougher when you're stupid."
- John Wayne

Too Much

I don't function well with Unknowns.  And, perhaps that is why I haven't found the time to write much lately:  too many unknowns are stressing me out right now.  Like what, you ask?

Well, for the first time EVER, I'm not able to pay my bills.  That is H-U-G-E-L-Y stressful.

I've applied for a full-time secretarial job in town (interviews are next week).  It won't pay all my bills, but it will cover a huge chunk of 'em.  That's been the one big problem of owning my own business:  no guaranteed income every two weeks in the form of a paycheck.  The new potential job is an 8:30 - 4:00 shift, Mondays - Fridays, and my thinking - if I got it - is that I'd then work in my office in town from 4:00 - 7:00 or 8:00 or so each night.  And the weekends, if I needed to.  Ideally, I'd have the traditional weekend off, though, and be able to work from home.  That, though, negates the option of having gallery hours.  Hmm, as I think about it, maybe it would make more sense to go home right away on the week days and get homestead stuff done those evenings (or do office work from home) . . . and then be open in the gallery on Saturdays.  Home on Sundays.  Anyway, beyond getting everything to them that I can in preparation for the interviews, maybe I shouldn't spend any more energy thinking about my schedule until I know if I HAVE the job or not!

Then, there's still the whole thing of opening my own food business in town.  And, that's a decision that needs to be made BEFORE I commit to this secretarial job - assuming I'm lucky enough to get it.  It's not the kind of gig where I'd feel comfortable going ahead and starting it and then, 7 weeks in, say, "Gosh, you know, I'm going to open my restaurant now.  Buh-bye."

So, where are we on all of that?  The owner of the Option PP property is VERY anxious to sell and would consider a very reasonable sum down on a Contract for Deed.  That still leaves me with a building in bad shape and an empty kitchen, but the seller's realtor is a commercial realtor and feels he can get me all the kitchen equipment I'd need for about $5,000 . . . which seems insanely low, but it IS a buyer's market.

My ideal situation, at this point, would be to buy the equipment / business at Option P and then have a long-term (5 years, at least) rental agreement on the building.  Buying it all outright is too prohibitive.  That space is the best one for all my wants.  The way *I* look at it (re my offer) is that the owner would be free to pursue her other interests (apparently she has something else goin' on) and yet have a steady, monthly income from my renting.  Best of both worlds, eh?  I've had an inquiry in to my realtor about that option for about a week, but the fact that there's been no response doesn't bode well.  Just requested an update from him this AM.

I thought I'd written about the bakery plan but, in looking over my (surprisingly FEW!) posts of the past couple weeks, I see I didn't.  After Options P and PP had kind of fallen through, I focused on finding a licensed kitchen in town from which to operate a bakery only.  I got one nailed down, was on their schedule for the entire month of October, was working with the State on all the pertinent licensing, etc. when I got the word back that the Board of Trustees (of that particular kitchen) had said that they would NOT grant me a monthly rental fee.  Nope, instead, I'd have to pay the regular $10/hour rental fee.  Are you KIDDING???  Even if I was only in there 20 hours a week (which wouldn't be enough), that would be $800 a month!  Are you KIDDING????  So, instead of getting a guaranteed monthly rental fee from me for the next year on a kitchen that sits EMPTY 85% of the year, they're gonna get nothing.  What the . . . ?  Yet another from-high-excitement (after meeting with the wonderful director of the building) to a crashing low.  WHY are the Powers That Be so against me regarding these plans???

In the meantime, I am still pursuing the other possibly-rentable licensed kitchens in town.  I'll let you know what happens there.

In case I've been too confusing to keep up with, my business plans at this point are one of two:
  1. Full-time secretarial job + existing web/graphic design business.
  2. Bakery + existing web/graphic design business.
Unless, of course, I could rent Option P . . . in which case it would be restaurant, bakery, & gallery.

Sigh.  All of this has been a huge part of why I haven't written much.  Just too many unknowns.  I'm looking forward to decisions being made and having a clearly delineated path.  It's just frustrating when such a large part of MAKING those decisions is out of MY hands.

In other news, the ex and his girlfriend moved back to town last week.  Nothing much to report there.  I've seen him once to drop off some boxes.  It was awkward, of course.  I don't think he expected such a cold reception from me.  'Nuf said there.

In the spirit of saving money, I've cancelled Netflix . . . which is saying a LOT for this movie buff!  But, it has forced me to acquaint myself even more with the wonderful library system we have up here, and I've been keeping myself in my personal source of relaxation (i.e. movies) just fine.  :)

Also, and as an FYI for those of you who call me, I dropped my office land-line.  That was the one ending in 1980.  I just didn't use my office phone enough to warrant the $55/month.  And, the calls are forwarded to my cellphone, anyway.  Or, at least, they will be for these next two months.  Then I'll drop that service, too.  The only bummer is that my cellphone has LOUSY reception in my office.  So, I can see (on the display) that you are trying to call me, but, if I pick up and try to speak, the signal is HORRIBLE.  Then I have to walk outside to the front entrance of the office building or sit out in my car to talk.  Still, it's worth it, monetarily.  So, be prepared to leave me a voice mail and have me call you back.

In other telephone and money-saving news, when I was out working in the ex's old office space those couple of weeks ago, I found and was reminded that he had a Bluetooth attachment for his phone system out there . . . which I thought I should be able to use with my own cellphone (vs. the house - also a cellphone, just to confuse you - line).  I finally hooked it up yesterday, and it WORKS!  (Dropping the house line should save me about $70/month!!)  There are some extenuating difficulties with it that I'm going to try to fix, eventually (can't move around when I'm on the phone - have to stand right there where it's all hooked up to the 3 watt booster, etc.).  And, I'm going to wait for a poor weather day to test it again to make sure the signal is still strong enough . . . and make sure I have free roaming with that plan . . . and if that's all good, I'll drop the house line.  That's the one ending in 0209.  So, again for those of you who call me and unless you hear that it didn't work, I am dropping that line, too.  For the first time since moving to Swamp River Ridge, I'll only have ONE telephone number!  Whoo-hoooo!!!

So, just to be clear as mud . . . the ONLY phone number I'm going to have (for EVERYTHING) is the one ending in 7998.  Got it?  Good.  ;)

Finally, you can thank an old friend, Mrs. EHB, for this post.  I got an e-mail from her yesterday saying, "I am just writing to let you know I have missed reading your posts over the last week!"  Nuthin' like a gentle kick in the pants to get me writing again.  ;)

So.  That's me right now.  On with the day.


  1. Yeesh, I don't envy you with all those unknowns! If it makes you feel any better we can't meet our bills anymore either, I'm trying really hard to just do the best we can but it sure gets frustrating when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet... I know it's out there for us though, that means you too! I think I'd tend to go towards the full time paying job if it's a year-round position and dig in your heels on other ways to make up the difference, but that's me, I find I take on less risk the older I get LOL. I'm behind you 100% on whatever you think is best for you, I'm hoping this week brings you some answers or some really great property deal, keep updating!

  2. Wow. That just sucks. The unknown, I mean.

    But we don't blame you for not posting. Heak, you could post something like "Piss on ya all" and we should be happy just knowing you're still with us! Your friends in the blogosphere are sending good vibes your way.

  3. Carolyn Renee, hahahaha! You brought me my first chuckle of the day. I won't do that . . . but it's yet another good reminder (from you, too, Ms. Erin) to keep posting . . . even when the turkeys got me down. ;)


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