Disclaimer: because I have an 11:00 lunch date at a location only halfway into town tomorrow, I don't have to leave the 'stead unti 10:15. So, I'll adjust the morning's alarm(s) to accommodate tonight's visit with you. That's my excuse, anyway, and I'm stickin' to it!
So, I am in from doing a late and abbreviated round of chores tonight after waving my friend out of the driveway. My m-a-l-e friend. GASP! I knew that you, who have come to be my dear friends as well as my readers, would not fall into the "oo-oooh, a MAN friend!" trap, but, still, I just didn't want to deal with it. Yes, I had a friend to dinner. Yes, he happens to be a man. We've been friends for ages - since the ex and I first met him as our realtor back in . . . '97, '98?
And, oddly enough, I realize now that he's been the ONLY person (besides My Girl) who I've hosted (twice) in this past year so full of changes. Maybe it's because I subconsciously know that he won't judge. He didn't care about the dishes unwashed in the sink. He didn't care about the pile of laundry in the middle room. He didn't care about the funky smell emanating from the refrig. He was just happy for some good food and fellowship.
What was my point? Hmm, I'm sure I had one. Maybe the point is that I feel unfairly fortunate for my situation after our visit. Happier to be in my shoes than his. He's never been married. I had the good fortune to have several years of a happy marriage. Yes, I've been through a divorce and some other gruesome shite these past 12 months, but I don't think I'd trade places with him. At 40 (we'll say for argument's sake), I still have the majority of my life ahead of me. At 52, he doesn't . . . and fears a lack of fulfillment.
When we hugged good-bye, he said the same thing as he had 9 months or so ago: "it seems like you're really doin' okay here". And, you know? I am. I really am doin' okay. Despite all the garbage that had to happen to bring me to this point, I feel like I am m-y-s-e-l-f. 'Course, I felt like that when I was married, but I also knew that the partnership wasn't everything I wanted it to be. Now, I am definitely at peace. Yes, it may be hard. Yes, there may be struggles. But, I am CONTENT . . . with WHO and WHERE I am. Completely. And I certainly feel fortunate for that.
Peace out. ;)