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"Life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful."
- Unknown

"That which does not kill you, makes you stronger."
- Handed down through the ages.

"Life's tough. It's even tougher when you're stupid."
- John Wayne



A Nice Night

Disclaimer:  because I have an 11:00 lunch date at a location only halfway into town tomorrow, I don't have to leave the 'stead unti 10:15.  So, I'll adjust the morning's alarm(s) to accommodate tonight's visit with you.  That's my excuse, anyway, and I'm stickin' to it!

So, I am in from doing a late and abbreviated round of chores tonight after waving my friend out of the driveway. My m-a-l-e friend.  GASP!  I knew that you, who have come to be my dear friends as well as my readers, would not fall into the "oo-oooh, a MAN friend!" trap, but, still, I just didn't want to deal with it.  Yes, I had a friend to dinner.  Yes, he happens to be a man.  We've been friends for ages - since the ex and I first met him as our realtor back in . . . '97, '98?


And, oddly enough, I realize now that he's been the ONLY person (besides My Girl) who I've hosted (twice) in this past year so full of changes.  Maybe it's because I subconsciously know that he won't judge.  He didn't care about the dishes unwashed in the sink.  He didn't care about the pile of laundry in the middle room.  He didn't care about the funky smell emanating from the refrig.  He was just happy for some good food and fellowship.


What was my point?  Hmm, I'm sure I had one.  Maybe the point is that I feel unfairly fortunate for my situation after our visit.  Happier to be in my shoes than his.  He's never been married.  I had the good fortune to have several years of a happy marriage.  Yes, I've been through a divorce and some other gruesome shite these past 12 months, but I don't think I'd trade places with him.  At 40 (we'll say for argument's sake), I still have the majority of my life ahead of me.  At 52, he doesn't . . . and fears a lack of fulfillment.


When we hugged good-bye, he said the same thing as he had 9 months or so ago:  "it seems like you're really doin' okay here".  And, you know?  I am.  I really am doin' okay.  Despite all the garbage that had to happen to bring me to this point, I feel like I am m-y-s-e-l-f.  'Course, I felt like that when I was married, but I also knew that the partnership wasn't everything I wanted it to be.  Now, I am definitely at peace.  Yes, it may be hard.  Yes, there may be struggles.  But, I am CONTENT . . . with WHO and WHERE I am.  Completely.  And I certainly feel fortunate for that.


Peace out.  ;)
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8 comments:

  1. AnonymousJanuary 28, 2011 12:38 AM

    You sound happy and that is what is important... I envy you in a lot of ways, does that sound strange? Enjoy your sleep in time tomorrow!

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  2. SusanJanuary 28, 2011 5:19 AM

    Amen, sister, amen.

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  3. Mama PeaJanuary 28, 2011 8:01 AM

    You know it makes your mama feel good to hear you state that so succinctly because it means that no matter what comes down the road in the future, you're gonna be okay. XXX

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  4. ErinJanuary 28, 2011 8:33 AM

    Glad you had a nice dinner, judgement-free! The way you feel is definitely a sign that you are not only okay, you are ready to accept changes and hurdles ahead in style!

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  5. It's a long drag to the landingJanuary 28, 2011 11:14 AM

    Thank you for pointing me to your blog. I have enjoyed reading it, and will continue to do so. The way you write and the way that your mother writes are just wonderful. I could sit and read for hours. Congrats on having a being in the moment moment and enjoying it. I miss those nights where you can reflection, enjoy and be thankful. I need to do more of that.

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  6. The Apple Pie GalJanuary 28, 2011 4:50 PM

    An evening with a friend, either gender, who doesn't judge and just enjoys...that's a friend for sure!

    Glad to hear such wonderful thoughts coming from you! Very good outlook my dear! Keep it up!

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  7. JaneJanuary 28, 2011 5:50 PM

    Sounds like you are happy where you are in your life. Don't worry about anything, just enjoy what you have.Blessings jane

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  8. BrittJanuary 29, 2011 10:49 AM

    Good girl...there's the W I know and love...and admire. Now get out to plowin' all that pretty snow!

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If you are familiar with me and where I live, please respect my right to retain some anonymity by not referring to me by anything other than Chicken Mama nor mentioning city/town/villages by place names. Thanks!

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