We all know, of course, how the saying goes: "Spring Forward, Fall Behind". But, for whatever reason, I felt like writing "Spring Forward, Fall On Your Ass". Must be my mood today.
But, really, I can't complain. It could be worse. My oldest girlfriend had the window in her car smashed and her purse taken in the 10 minutes she was inside to pick her son up from daycare. At 5:00 PM with tons of other parents around. And, she had their complete 2009 tax return in her bag. Social security numbers, signatures, the works. And the midwife called to say that she was "very worried" regarding test results for Baby #2, in utero. (More in-depth testing revealed that Baby is F-I-N-E, thank goodness.) And then Baby #1 was rushed to the ER in an ambulance after the daycare providers had to jab an epi-pen into his 1-year old body to prevent potential damage from a severe allergic reaction.
So, see? It could be worse. Really.
That said, I found out last night from a dear, dear friend, that people "around town" are under the impression that the reason Tom and I are divorcing is because he asked me to choose between him and Swamp River Ridge . . . and that I chose Swamp River Ridge. Great.
Perhaps I need some coaching. Divorce 101. I think I'm being too nice. Trying to keep private business private. No, that's not it. I think the problem - MY problem - is that I've shielded Tom for so long . . . thought I was helping him by hiding his weaknesses from everyone else (read e-n-a-b-l-i-n-g!) . . . that I still find it hard to say anything about him that others may find harsh or negative. Even if it's the truth. But, nor do I want to be a sniping, shrewish divorcee always disparaging her ex. So, see? I need the 'Etiquette During Divorce' book.
I just don't want people to get the wrong impression. And, yeah, people "will talk", so maybe it doesn't even matter what the REAL truth is (to them). But I, I guess, am reaching a point where I want the truth "out there".
So, how do I do that? I guess all I can do is tell people the truth when they ask. In an effort to be clear and concise (I tend to babble when I speak to people in real-life), let me practice on you, dear reader.
Me: "Tom and I are getting a divorce."
Unsuspecting Local: "Oh, no! What happened?"
Me: "He left me. He said, at first, that the problem was Swamp River Ridge and the lifestyle we'd built for ourselves there. But then, when I offered to give that up and move into a little house in town . . . or even move to a new state to start over . . . he just shook his head 'no'."
Even that, though, is too long. The flat-out truth is that he no longer wants / wanted to be married to me. Why? I have no idea. And, why didn't he want to work on it? That part disappoints me the most, because he knows I would have done ANYTHING to keep our marriage alive and make it healthy again. But, it takes two to tango, doesn't it?
I feel a note to all our friends, family, and acquaintances coming on. I never do well when the cards aren't on the proverbial table. I'll bet I'll feel better after that.
Anyway, my apologies: too much introspection in the blogosphere tonight. Blame it on Daylight Savings Time.