What's YOUR Recurring Bad Dream?

I didn't want to ask about your recurring nightmare because that really isn't what this post is about.  I mean, I've had lots of BAD dreams, but only 1 real nightmare in my entire life (thank gawd) that I DON'T care to allow recur!  (Not that we have control of our subconscious.)  But, I digress.

I have a recurring "my life is out of control" dream.  At least, that's what I interpret it to mean.  And, it's always a different version of the same thing:  the brakes going on a truck that I'm driving.  See, "out of control"?

I dreamed several versions of that one last night.  In one, I was going down steep hills in Duluth (a large Minnesota city which is built on the steep southwest bank of Lake Superior from when it was a couple hundred feet deeper than it is now) and couldn't slow down enough to make the corners.  How would I stop:  take out parked cars or buildings?

In another, I was trying to park on the side of a snowy, snowy road (again, on a hill) to load a canoe and a bunch of silverware and food stuffs that I was delivering for a friend to a local lodge.  In that one, I had all five of the 4-leggeds in the truck with me, and it was a huge, fearful challenge to keep them all INSIDE whenever I had to open a door to load something.

And, in the last, in which I was delivering said silverware, canoe, and foodstuffs, it wasn't a matter of not being able to stop on the side of the road but rather that the critters kept getting out of the truck and running across the highway in front of huge 18-wheelers barreling down the road.  I'd be trying to hold onto collars or wriggling cats while screaming at Maisy or Tucker to "Come!  Come!" as a truck careened towards them.  UGH!  AWFUL!!

See?  Did I mention?  Out of control?

It's no surprise that I find myself stressing, more and more every day as another 24-hours pass on the Calendar of Time, about when I am going to have to be out of here and into a new place and just WHAT that new place will be!  This was brought on by learning, the afternoon that I'd written my last post that included my "fall back" property of the trailer on 13 acres, that it's been sold!  It's been on the market forever, so, of course, I was "planning" on it being available when and if I needed it.  And, now it's no longer an option.

And, I still haven't heard a THING from the credit union about The Situation, and that's driving me up the wall with worry and uncertainty.

AND, trying to take advantage of this upcoming rummage sale that I've been offered a part in for no more work than bringing the things I'd like to sell is stressing me out.  I'd felt that I needed to go through EVERYTHING I have in order to take the most advantage of it, but finding the time to do that has proven impossible (to go through EVERYTHING).  And this is most likely because it's the first time I've gone through the Ours stuff following the divorce.  So, it's not as simple as sorting between a Keep pile and a Rummage Sale pile.  Instead, it's those two PLUS a "his" pile . . . and sorting those things into His - Keep and His - Rummage Sale . . . because the ex has given me the go-ahead to sell much of that stuff.  Still, there are various things I want to run by him to make sure that he's okay with me selling . . . and that involves taking digital pictures to e-mail to him since he's in Alaska for the summer.  I know all this stress and sorting could have been alleviated by doing the same at some point within the last 2 years, but, for whatever multiple reasons, it didn't happen.  BUT, here's my point:  I finally realized WHY it (the rummage sale) was stressing me out so much, and now I'm to the (much more manageable) point of saying, "You know what?  I'll pull together what I can, and the rest can wait."  If another rummage sale is in the offing at the end of the summer, I'll take advantage of that.  If not, I'll find another way to deal with that stuff.  It's NOT something I should be stressing so much over.  So, that's that.

And, instead of finding the time to SORT through tons of little stuff, I'm going to focus on the big pieces - furniture, mostly - that I'll be getting rid of.  And, even tho I won't have QUANTITY in the rummage sale, I will be getting rid of things that are taking up a HUGE amount of space . . . and that will make the Leaving The House sorting MUCH easier.  Right?  Right!

Staying with the same theme a moment longer, I've realized that, given the WAY I'll be leaving this house (foreclosure), I don't have to have it picture-perfect ready for new owners (as tho I sold it).  I'm just going to LEAVE things that I no longer want but either don't have the time nor energy to get rid of (like a desk I don't care about keeping but am currently using).  The credit union can deal with them.  So, there!

I'd love to "entertain you" with more interesting subjects, but I guess I still need to get my frustrations out . . . still with The Move.  The way that time flies, it's going to be full-on summer before we know it and fall will be soon approaching (SORRY!, but you know it's true!).  And, with it, the time for me to be leaving.  My quandary is this:  do I get something secured NOW to live in or wait for something better to come down the line?  But, that's such a gamble because what if nothing "better" presents itself in time?

At this point, I think I'd feel better - have a HUGE bit of stress removed - if I DID secure a place sooner rather than later.  Of course THEN, there's the very real possibility of paying to maintain TWO places instead of just one.  But, still, that's a risk that I feel is less than the gamble of waiting for that "more perfect" place (that may never come).  So, for now, I feel like I need to move forward with the not-perfectly-built cabin on the 5 acres that I really love.  I've looked in the windows and walked around the property (and used the biffy!) oodles of time but still haven't been inside.  Now I have an appointment to do so.  But, instead of trying to buy it immediately, I think I'll see if the owners would agree to a 1-year rental agreement.  I'd have to build a large outbuilding on it, though, for storage.  And put a floor on the (currently open) 2nd story loft so I could use it as a bedroom.  Ideally, if I ended up NOT buying the property, the owners would reimburse me the cost of the outbuilding and cabin improvements.  If I do this, I can start moving things out of here as I pack them . . . instead of just shuffling them around.  It's SO much easier to work on things like that if you can MAKE MORE ROOM as you do it!

In (not really) other news, I've noticed that I'm LOSING readers to this blog (at least, in the form of Followers) instead of reaching my goal of 100!  I figure it's because all I'm talking about these days is The Move and my woes instead of homesteading.  Oh, well.  There's nothing I can do about that, either, so I shouldn't take it personally.  Am I going to stop writing about what is currently My Life (which is NOT homesteading)?  Nope.  So, get over it, Chicken Mama!

Whew!  I guess I needed to vent / complain a little.  Mitch and boan, as Mama Pea would say.  NOW, I'm gonna pull up my big girl panties and ENJOY the gorgeous, warm, full-sun day and GET ON WITH IT!

Peace out.  ;)