The Very Picture of Health

I just took this picture of myself with my laptop webcam:

Am I not the epitome of health and happiness?  Joy overflowing?

Yeah, well.

I experienced the most pain last night that I've had since all my "female problems" pre-hysterectomy, way back when.  I was in so much pain that, had I health insurance, I would have gone to the ER.  (And that says a LOT for me!)  Finally, deciding that I would NOT do that and incur the cost of a nightly run to the hospital, I drug (dragged?) myself to the computer where I researched my symptoms.  I honestly thought my right ear drum was going to rupture.  If it did, did that means my brains would leak out?  I.e., how serious would that be?

Turned out, I would actually feel relief from the pain when & if the eardrum ruptured, and it would heal itself!  So, at that point, dreams of glowing red, sterilized sewing needles started floating in front of my eyes.  I was desperate, and a little self-inflicted relief was sounding pretty good.

How sensitive was my ear?  Well, in the hopes of seeing something, I took a flashlight and hand mirror into the bathroom to see what I could see.  I could feel the heat from the flashlight's beam on my inner ear!  That's how sensitive it was!

Finally, knowing I couldn't make it thru the night like that, I went searching for my long-hoarded, single, solitary pain (killer) pill.  But, wait:  I'd just taken some pseudoephedrine, trying to achieve some relief.  Was I going to pull a Heath Ledger by combining the two?!

Ever the wonderful, dependable resource, my oldest, dearest girlfriend . . . my "in-house doc" . . . got back to me at 11:03 PM that "it is totally fine to take that pain killer with pseudoephedrine, so knock yourself out."

Within the hour, I was (knocked) out.  Thank.  Gawd.

I got a 9:40 appointment at the clinic right away this morning and so called in sick to work A-G-A-I-N . . . assuring the boss that I'd be there tomorrow.  So, the prognosis?  In addition to my mother-of-all-colds, I have a sinus infection and severe ear(drum) infection.  Matter of fact, the marks I made on the above picture are meant to bring your attention to the particularly puffy areas of my face.  Yes, the pain/infection is so bad that my face is actually swollen on that side.  It feels like I've had 10 hours of dental work performed on that side of my jaw, and it HURTS to open my mouth.

When the doc was writing out the prescriptions (including a refill on the pain meds, thank goodness), I asked him how long it would take for the antibiotics to kick in.  He responded that they act pretty quickly and that I should be feeling some relief fairly soon.  Once I'd picked the prescriptions up ($65.70 that-I-don't-have later!) and chugged them down out in the car, I realized that I didn't know HOW LONG "pretty quickly" was.  Did that mean 1/2 an hour or did I have to suffer thru another 1/2 DAY of this pain?

I texted my in-house doc.  "Antibiotics typically kick in between 24-48 hours."  One to two DAYS???

Have I mentioned:  thank GAWD I got a pain meds refill???????

And, so, I called in sick to work for tomorrow.  A-gain.  I told the boss lady that I feel like an undependable 18-year old kid, taking what will be my THIRD sick day tomorrow!  And, it's SO aggravating because, yesterday morning, I REALLY felt like I was on the far side of my cold.  I could smell and taste food again.  I didn't need a cough drop once while at work.  I even got in a good bit of chain sawing on the wood pile last night when I got home.  Then, this hit SO quickly, like a rusty, nail-spiked 2x4 come smashing into the side of my head.  And, now I'm back to the fluorescent green/yellow snot, the cough, the no breathing or tasting . . . plus all these fun, new symptoms.

Owwwww.