* * * * * * *

"Life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful."
- Unknown

"That which does not kill you, makes you stronger."
- Handed down through the ages.

"Life's tough. It's even tougher when you're stupid."
- John Wayne



Poof

Poof.

A quiet little poof at 3:44 PM, CST yesterday.  Did you hear it?  That's when my dreams, all that I've been working for this summer and couldn't tell you about, went up in smoke.  Poof.  Just like that.


On Monday night, I was finally ready - felt like I could - sit down to tell you what I've been working on, strategizing for - all summer.  But, I thought I'd better wait until my meeting yesterday that would put the last of my proverbial ducks in a row.  It wouldn't be signed, sealed, and delivered, but it was gonna happen.

Then, poof.

I didn't even tell Mama & Papa Pea about my Big Plans until the beginning of this month.  It was hard, not sharing my small successes and overriding stresses for those 5 months.  But, I felt like saying it out loud would jinx it - jinx the "answer to all my problems", the answer to my future.  But, now, the rest of you will hear the long tale, straight from the chicken's mouth.

Beginning with an initial meeting way back in March, I've been working on buying a friend's business.  A good business.  An established business.  A business I knew I could even improve on.  A business that would be financially supporting for me.  A business that's located right at the bottom of my main road . . . I wouldn't even have to drive to town.

She was ready to sell.  The business, at least, if not the buildings and commercial property.  Cafe, bakery, small grocery store, and liquor store.  She listed it with another mutual friend / real estate agent.  Then, at that first meeting in March, she told me that she'd be willing to sell me the entire she-bang that I wanted - business, inventory, appliances, buildings, and 2.3 acres - on Contract for Deed if I could come up with the money for the business up-front.  Perrrrfect!  Absolutely perfect.

I had plans to add on to the existing building or put up a new structure which would house a gallery for, most importantly, Chicken Mama Designs, but also the many fantastic artists around here.  I was going to screen-in and enclose the large patio to provide 3-season seating.  The logo and signs were designed.  Within five years, my goal was to have a group insurance plan so my cousins from California could finally move up and go into business with me as had been the original original plan.

I had employee lists and schedules written out - all the better for my comprehensive business plan.  I'd gained a wonderful employee straight from the court administrator's office - one of the few places who knew about my plans due to the necessary legalities.  Printed out, my file of paperwork was between 1/4" and 1/2" in thickness.


Once I knew it was a "go" - something I was GOING to make happen - I did the smart thing and started to deal with the real estate agent instead of my friend . . . wanting to keep everything "legal", etc.  Through him, information was gathered:  Profit & Loss statements, tax assessments, well reports from the MN Dept. of Health, compliance certificates regarding the septic system, inventory lists, the whole gamut.  I went to the bank and the credit union and met with loan officers.

I sent a Letter of Intent at the end of July, just to "secure" things with the seller, make sure she knew I was making this happen, make sure she'd tell me if she was reviewing offers from others.


Stupidly (I really do know better) and ignorantly (or blindly, due to my excitement?), I expected that I'd be "in" by now, so my money ran out last month.  I had to borrow a personal loan just to get by, and that money will be used up within weeks.


Yesterday, I had my final "big" meeting at the court house to see if I could get a big chunk of the Contract for Deed down-payment / cost of the business covered.  I was nervous going into it, but I just knew this would work.  Sheer will and determination and all that rot.  I had to make it work!


The meeting went very well, and they saw no reason why I wouldn't be granted the funds I was applying for.  My final presentation to the county board would happen on September 13th, and then a check could be cut.  If all the papers the lawyers had to draw up could be ready in time, I could close by the end of next month and be in MY new business . . . income at the ready!


I know I must have been glowing with happiness because, as I left the auditor's office and went up to the court administrator's, the clerk and I got to talking about my divorce, how I was doing, blah, blah, blah when she suddenly said, "Well, I've got to say . . . you look FANTASTIC!"  Really?  Me?  It must have been perma-grin from the meeting.


Back at my office, my favorite girl from my managerial days last summer stopped in unexpectedly.  As we were talking, she interrupted and said, "You know, can I just say, you look REALLY PRETTY today!"  Yep, it had to be due to my meeting.  (Although, I had put on makeup for the appointment, and that ALWAYS helps!)


So, I've gotta admit, I was flyin' high.  I decided that I would treat myself to a bottle of wine (that I can't afford) on the way home and sit down here at my laptop to FINALLY share my summer's stress - albeit mostly the "good kind" - with you, my dear friends.


I was puttering at my desk, going through paperwork, when I heard the 'ding' that announced a new e-mail.  It was from my real estate agent.  It was 3:44 PM, CST.  The message was simple and to the point:  "she pulled the business off the market".


Only one word popped into my mind and, while I hate to embarrass my folks, it seems apt.  It started with 'f' and ended in 'uck'.


I'd diligently told the seller, through my realtor, that this final meeting that would really pretty much solidify things was happening yesterday.  August 23rd.  1:00.  After that, we could get down to the nitty-gritty of negotiating the final thousands of dollars.  So, is it merely a coincidence that she made this decision not to sell, after all, on the very same day?  And late in the afternoon at that?  Not, say, early in the morning before I'd have made my big pitch at the court house?  I can't help but think that, no, it wasn't a coincidence.


I am . . . numb, I think.  I wish I could cry.  Sob, bawl, howl, scream.  Get it OUT of my system.  I only managed a few tears last night when I went back to my folks' to pick up the dogs.  Papa Pea met me at the door and simply said, "I'll bet you could use a big hug right about now."  Mom, tears in her eyes, was right behind him.


For the first time in my life, I bought liquor last night with the solitary plan of getting drunk.  Drowning my woes for at least a few hours and all that rot.  So, on the way home, I stopped and bought two bottles of wine I can't afford.  Of course, by the time I got home, that desire was kaput, and the bottles are still sitting, unopened, in the refrig.  Instead, I drank a Mr. Pibb and ate dry Chex cereal out of the box.


When I called Mama & Papa Pea to tell them I'd gotten home safely and hadn't smashed the Yaris into the store on the way home as I'd momentarily fantasized doing, I'd found enough humor to say, when Dad picked up, "Well, I've figured out a way to solve the plan.  I'm going to turn the Swamp River Ridge house into a high-end brothel.  I'll be the madam and make all the girls work for me."  Not missing a beat, Dad said, "Well, you'll have to get better screens on your windows and doors then to keep the mosquitoes out!"  Hmmm, good point.  ;)

Today, I feel pole-axed.  Clothes-lined.  Hit upside the head with a 2x4.  The rug pulled out from under me.  Taken out at the knees.

There's a somewhat similar business for sale in town that I might look at, but, to tell you the truth, the huge benefit of this one I thought I was buying was that it cut my driving in half.  A business all the way back in town certainly ain't gonna do that.

So, all this stress and strain and planning and figuring and trying to stretch a dollar into ten that I've spent ALL my time since March on . . . is for naught.  And, I need to figure something out FAST.

It just really, really, REALLY sucks.

There.  That's all.  Now you know.

I'll rally.  No worries about that.  But, for today, for these past fewer-than-24-hours, I'm just shocked into numbness.
 Peace out.



20 comments:

  1. I'm a "lurker" on your blog and your Mom's- I absolutely love them both so much. I just felt like I had to comment because I have tears in my eyes for you- I'm so sorry that this happened and once in awhile you have to come out of lurkdom to tell someone that this does indeed suck and I'm really sorry- I'll be thinking tons of positive thoughts for you that something works out ♥

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  2. Oh, Kim, thank you. You, by coming out of Lurkdom, HAVE helped. Anytime I know people are out there "rooting" for me, it helps . . . and keeps reminding me to POST because there ARE readers out there who listen to my drivel! Thank you, thank you. Truly.

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  3. I am flabergasted.

    So the former Realtor/Broker in me has many questions. Thoughts, ideas, avenues.

    Don't give up. emailing you now.

    Love you!

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  4. Ms. Apple Pie, anxiously awaiting your ideas. I have a meeting with the realtor tomorrow to discuss this B---S--- turn of events. He says he'll give her a couple of days and then inquire again, but he said she really sounded like her mind was made up. I just wish she'd decided that when I sent the Letter of Intent! (Understatement of the day.)

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  5. Gob-smacked comes to mind. WTF also comes to mind. Why did she decide - a nanosecond AFTER the last minute - to pull the business? Maybe your great ideas and enthusiasm made her realize that it could be something great? Man, oh, man. If she tries to use your ideas, sue her butt. The upside is that you can now buy, create or build your dream business. Yes, you can. Don't give up, dear W. We are all behind you and you sure have the wherewithal to get it done. I'd give one giant hug if I were there. Let's pretend I am. (HUG)

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  6. I am so, so sorry about this - and having been at said business, know how PERFECT it would be for you! Don't get too discouraged just yet, see what APG has to say. I think I'm going to be doing a good fortune spell for you tonight! I wonder what is up that this friend couldn't give you a warning first? Hey, the brothel idea isn't half bad LOL... you could throw a little gambling in there, no one would know out there! Seriously though, I'm pretty upset about this as I know you have had something in the works for awhile and I was so hoping for good news soon. Keep us updated, you will be in my thoughts - I wish we had moved up there already, we will be in need of income too and think we could definitely rustle something up combining our resources, even if we had to use strong-arm tactics LOL....

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  7. Susan, fortunately, she doesn't know my ideas. I certainly wasn't going to give HER any good ones if *I* was gonna do 'em.

    And, that's what I was thinking as I was desperately brain-storming on the way home last night: now I can do it myself, the way I want FROM the ground up. But, no, I can't. Why not?

    The financing. Thanks to a really sh*tty move by my ex during the divorce, the only financial help I can get is from this (albeit fantastic) county loan. BUT, they can only loan up to 1/3 of the entire cost of a project . . . which is why I'd have to buy ANYTHING (empty land, existing buildings / business) on Contract for Deed . . . unless I found an Angel Investor to come up with the remaining 2/3 of the cost for me.

    My only other option would be to take a second mortgage out on the house, but I R-E-A-L-L-Y don't want to do that! Besides, if my equity wasn't proven at the tax assessor's value minus my mortgage (which is substantial equity) and instead based on the actual market value (which is SO down thanks to the current economy) minus my mortgage . . . I'd hardly have any equity. Clear as mud?

    It's all just a horrible, rotting, stinky hurdle.

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  8. well ,don't take to the bottle to seriously,it will only make matters worse.we once moved lock stock and barrel---to Kentucky where my husband was from I would gladly follow him blindly .but that was my mistake, if I had not been blind and should have listened to my sister patsy"don't put all your eggs in one basket" but of coarse we did in 7 short months ,I lost my whole inheritance. I NEVER REALLY READ MY HUSBAND RIGHT AND I'VE ALWAYS BEEN NAIVE BUT i DID NOT KNOW MY HUSBAND HAD A MENTAL ILLNESS ONE THAT YOU CAN LIVE WITH BUT HE REALLY DOES HAVE TO STAY MEDICATED BUT TE REASON I'M TELLING YOU ALL THIS IS BECAUSE I DO KNOW THE FEELING OF FALLING AND CAN'T GET UP --I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU RIGHT NOW ,BUT LIFE DOES GO ON,EVENTUALLY. I STUPIDLY LOST EVERYTHING MY FAMILY BLAMES ME FOR LOSING MY HOME WE WERE ALL BROUGHT UP IN.I STILL HAVE NIGHTMARES BECAUSE I RUINED MY WHOLE LIFE . SOMETHING WILL COME YOUR WAY WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT AND YOU CAN TELL ME HEY JUDY,SCREW YOU, BUT YOU ARE SMART AS A WHIP AND I'M SURE I'M RIGHT, SO GO NOW AND HAVE A GLASS OF WINE IF YOU MUST WE ARE ALL HER FOR YOU WONDERFUL NEW FRIEND

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  9. Hi Chicken Mama,

    I'm so sorry it happened to you. It really sucks! It looks like you had a great idea for a business and I'm sure you were all well prepared for it. Keep all those ideas in a safe place for a future opportunity, it will come back, for the same business again later, or somewhere else. Your little village is always growing in size and a competitor might be a good idea, whenever you find some funding. With good ideas, money always appears at some point.

    Take care,
    Pierre

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  10. Ditto everything Kim said. I'm really sorry this happened. Maybe it was meant to be this way just for something better to come along. I don't know. I like to tell myself that when something doesn't work the way I think it should.

    I'm a lurker, too. I may have commented a couple of times here or on your Mom's blog. I'm from MN, too. I enjoy reading your blogs.

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  11. This all just makes me want to barf. As Susan wrote, WTF??? She's got to be mixed up (L, not Susan!), if she one month is ready to sell it all and the next pulls it off the market. My thought is that she may come to her senses and decide to sell it, afterall. I'm so sorry.

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  12. OH man, that really sucks, BIG TIME! I do hope you can get some kind of explanation. What an absolutely awful thing to happen. Hugs to you. I'll send good thoughts your way that something even BETTER comes along.
    Judy

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  13. What a bummer!!!! I'm so sorry this happened, I knew you were working on something special. For some reason CM, this was just not meant to be - There is something better coming up in the future. Many, many hugs to you!
    Yvette

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  14. Hmmm. Did the liquor store turn into a gold mine and they are hanging on to it? Or are they holding out for more money in the future? I agree with above comments who assure you that better things await you. This might be a blessing in disguise even though it doesn't feel like it right now.
    Have you ever considered turning your beautiful home into a B&B? Complete with gallery, trails and outdoorsy "things to do" for guests, etc? Why drive to town when the customers can come to you! You'd have to invest in a commercial kitchen upgrade, etc. But it would be in YOUR house!!! Just think; you could write off new furniture and home improvements as a business expense. I think you'd be great at doing a B&B. And your skilled parents can do more remodeling projects when they finish their own ;) And a B&B is legal at least! LOL

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  15. Oh CM! I don't know what to say other than agree with the other comments. Im just sick to my stomach for you! I'm so sorry. What would tick me off more is that it's totally out of your control, you've done everything, tunnel vision/focus... working toward a dream, all ready and ka-slam! Hugs and prayers for you!

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  16. I don't know what to say except that I am very sorry and I hope she changes her mind.

    I've been in that place all summer listening to her grump about the work involved and the hours, etc - then suddenly the day before I left she was on and on about her winter hours and her various plans... now I can add a layer of meaning to that dialogue.

    So sorry she pulled the rug out from under you.

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  17. Hi Dear Friend-

    I've been seriously busy and feeling yucky for a while, so I haven't been reading any blogs for a bit. I'm so sorry to hear about this! I know that something will work out for you, but it's seriously too bad that it won't be here. We could have been neighbors, after all! :(

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  18. CM, I'm a part-time lurker here. I'm so sorry to hear that you have had such wonderful plans, only to have them blown up in front of you. I hope that things turn out for the best. Will be keeping good thoughts for you.
    ~~Lori

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