I've been feeling a little . . . overwhelmed lately. Scattered. And it's all my own damn fault. Procrastination. I have some BIG decisions to make right now. Financial decisions. Business decisions. Life decisions. And, I don't wanna do the hard thinking, finish the research, etc. that I need to do to get to the other side of this muddy, mucky psychological field. Blech. But, my time is running out. I NEED to get this done. Maybe writing about it here, as I just have, will grind me into the gear I need to be in. Maybe. I hope.
For a few weeks now, I've been fairly consistently been sleeping for 12 hours on my "days off" (ha!). Let's rephrase that: days at home. I have NO days off right now (the "right now" of this stage of my life), and I'm feeling that, too. Really feeling the need for a vacation. A staycation where I don't have to do the things that I feel need to be done around here. A time to do what I WANT to do. Anyway, my point is that even though my body's obviously telling me that I need this rest & recup time (the 12 hours of sleep each night), it doesn't leave much time in my day to get things done. Buuuut, that's my own choice to: to let myself sleep instead of setting an alarm and getting more things done during the day. Six of one, half a dozen of another. Blah, blah, blah; yadda, yadda, yadda.
I'm stressed, too, because I have a big job at work right now that isn't getting done, and I'm feeling the pressure. WHY isn't it getting done? 'Cause I can't seem to find the time to get to it when I'm at work. WTH, Chicken Mama?! Get a grip! Just put. Everything. Else. To. The. Side. And. DO IT! Dummy. So, in the hopes that it will keep me accountable, I'm telling you about it here. Aside from any TRULY "must-do"s that pop up, I HAVE to hammer that out this week. And, I KNOW I can get it nearly finished in these upcoming four days. I just need to hold myself accountable. To you. So, that's my plan.
So now, without procrastinating any more than I already have, I'll leave you with a few fun pictures. Each time I've passed this large beaver pond, I've seen a critter hard at work. Returning home from the arts festival meeting on Tuesday night, I made my plan that I'd cut the engine and roll down the hill to the pond, my camera at the ready. And, it paid off!
Okay, I'm out of the shower now and my bags are all packed. I'm ready to do chicken chores on the way and head out!
I zoomed in on the beaver in the image below so you could see him/her better. It's a BIG one! |
S/he's facing away: you see the wet hump of the large back first and then the head. |
In this one, s/he looks a bit like a prehistoric something . . . crawling out of the water to work on the dam. |
Checking me out. In the image below, I've circled the entirety of the critter so you can see how far behind the head the tail is. Like I said, this one is a grand-daddy in size! |
And, off s/he goes . . . |
And so do I! :)
How did you get such good shots without being eaten alive by bugs?I like your version of WTH instead of my daughter's WT_----YOU KNOW---I keep telling that her children have big ears ,I told "your kids are gonna be expelled from day-care again"
ReplyDeleteGeez, we must have had matching dorm rooms...hehehe. I hate procrastinating - especially after going through all that angst to find out that it only took 5 minutes to do the dang thing. Happy Monday - glad mine's over...
ReplyDeleteJudy, I wondered the same thing! And, I was mentally prepared for the barrage of bugs. BUT, for some reason, they weren't finding me for those couple o' minutes. I was tempted to write WT* . . . but tried to mind my Ps and Qs . . . a little bit. ;)
ReplyDeleteSusan, no matter HOW long a paper was, I wouldn't start it until the night before it was due. FORTUNATELY, writing and the Art of BS comes naturally to me. ;) Essay questions / answers were ALWAYS my favorite while everyone else in the room groaned! Maybe that's why I graduated with a degree in Philosophy: you can argue until the cows come home, and there's still no right answer! (And see how well I'm STILL procrastinating by taking the time to respond here while I'm at work???)
I'm glad you posted, it's been awhile and I was afraid the bugs carried you off! Financial decisions are rough, no 2 ways about it, otherwise there wouldn't be decisions involved. Here's my take, and I had to make some pretty hard decisions a few years ago, seems like yesterday. I think I might have an idea of what you are wrestling with, and if you know you can't have it/do it/keep it, mentally come to grips with it and start looking at the bright side of a new way immediately, it will give you something to look forward to instead with dread. Actively choose to begin anew without guilt, without feeling badly or any of that garbage - your circumstances were altered hugely by other forces at work, and you are having to deal with things that just shouldn't have happened, - not. your. fault.!
ReplyDeleteI always seem to feel better once I accept and move on from something bad, since I'm a person who need to DO something, and worrying isn't doing. Once I have the answer, even if I don't much like it, I can at least start doing again, planning, thinking of something new.
Am I rambling again? The usual, right LOL?! Much love and lots of hugs your way, make sure you step outside and do your thinking with a beverage in your hand while enjoying the fresh air and not thinking about work deadlines!
So, Chicken Mama, since we're supposed to be holding you accountable, and since it's Thursday now, how's that big project at the office coming along?
ReplyDeleteOne of these days I'll have to come and see that office. Not this week, however, since you're supposed to be working on this project. ;) Hope you've had a huge burst of creative energy and all's going well. Hang in there, my friend! Hugs!
So, hope you're doing well and making progress on your project. Did you get it finished or nearly so? Keep us posted and know we're cheering you on!
ReplyDeleteMy old motto was (thanks Nike)
ReplyDeleteJUST DON'T DO IT.
lol
Just pull up your big girl panties and quit beating yourself in the head with it.
(That's what I tell myself!)
HAve a grand Monday!
Erin, hmmmmm, I'm intrigued! E-mail me and let me know what you think my big decision evolves around! The only thing I can think of that you may mean is keeping Swamp River Ridge, but that is NOT a bargaining chip! I will work 12 jobs in order to keep it!!! I actually have a (pretty good?) theory that the reason the ex didn't say yes to my offer of us selling this and moving elsewhere (in town? another state?) in an effort to keep the marriage together is because he knew I'd be miserable and always regret it. I don't think he wanted to be the "thing" that took me away from here. Nope, I'll be leaving this property one way: in a pine box! :)
ReplyDeleteAnd, yes, I'm the same: even if the news / decision isn't one I particularly "like", I'm FINE once I've made my decisions and moved ON! I do NOT like to worry, agonize, angst over things either!
Patty & Becky, thank you for asking (and keeping me, ahem, on task)! I'm making progress on it . . . and that's something!!! ;) More to come today, I hope!
And, Akannie . . . you're absolutely right: I just need to pull myself up by the big girl panties (ooooh, maybe not) and DO IT!!!