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"Life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful."
- Unknown

"That which does not kill you, makes you stronger."
- Handed down through the ages.

"Life's tough. It's even tougher when you're stupid."
- John Wayne


Does your brain work like mine?  For your sake, I HOPE not!  

When I get so busy like this, when there are so many things that need to be done NOW . . . my brain stops working properly.  I came up with a good analogy for it when I was doing the mental outline of this post.  It's like thousands of honey bees are zipping around in my head, pinging off the sides of my skull and crashing into each other . . . but there's no place for one to land.  As a result, I kind of skim over all the visible tasks, some important, some not . . . and that's not good.  What I need to do is to take that proverbial (and LITERAL!) step back; to take the time to slow down the whizzing of my brain enough to allow myself to think.  And, why DON'T I do this?  'Cause I worry about the time lost while I'm stepping back!  But, the little voice that's hollering to be heard above the buzzing bees is shouting, "You dummy!  If you just take the time to figure things out, your time will be spent SO much more efficiently!"  So, I think I'm gonna be smart and lay down for a minute to LISTEN to the inner me.

What will I be thinking about?
  • The 16 Partridge Rock day-old chicks that arrived to Swamp River Ridge yesterday.
  • The batteries which I finally headed out to do a partial maintenance evaluation on last night at 10:00 PM.
  • The dog that I have to pick up tonight to dog-sit.
  • The bee meeting (you can see how I came by the analogy that I did!) I am attending tonight.
  • The 75-minute online counseling session that Tom and I need to take tonight.
  • What I need to get organized / ready in order for The Peanut (currently known also as Hop-A-Long) to have another overnight here.
  • Finally finishing all the paperwork for our taxes and the lawyers.
  • Can I squeeze in a shower before the meetings tonight or just wash my hair?
  • Has my sinus infection come back and should I refill the antibiotics as the doc suggested I might have to? 
  • Do I have time to wash & pack eggs this afternoon and make the invoices and then deliver them tonight before all the meetings?
And finally . . . 
  • Is it just psychological that I feel so exhausted (when I actually slept in this AM and got a good night of sleep), and should I just GET OVER IT?


  1. Umm, I think you have some good reasons to be exhausted. I hope you lay down and SLEPT, forget about thinking all those things! Lists help me when I'm that busy; then I don't have to scramble around, trying to keep track in my head of all the details I have to finish.

  2. Stress (and depression) are the biggest energy sucker-outers known to mankind. You have a mighty full load to carry right now. Are you trying to do too much? I know they are all things that you WANT to do (well, okay a lot you HAVE to do) but this mama thinks you are over-extending. Mayhaps you do need to step back and look at your situation objectively.

    Now go do as I say, not as I do.

  3. Yes, some are choices, Mom, I know. But, in general, doing (most of!) the things I choose to do are "treats" for me (having the Peanut for overnights).

    But, I truly don't think I'm suffering from depression, do you? And, the reason I address that here, publicly, is in case a reader is experiencing the same and can learn from this discussion and/or feel support from it.


  4. No, I don't think you are depressed. That's why I put it in parentheses as another cause of lack of energy. But I do know you are stressed. And why SHOULDN'T you be?

    There are only so many hours in each day and you try to cram too much into them. Just sayin'.

  5. Hey, you know what? I've looked at things objectively (ha!) and decided to NOT attend the bee meeting tonight. I wasn't looking forward to getting home so late tonight, anyway. There, two stressors (stressers?) removed: attending the meeting and deciding on the yarn for my next crocheting project which I'd want to work on during the meeting!

    See, I CAN be smart? Or (and this is what I get sucked into), am I just being lazy?

  6. Oh my dear, remember you are most likely dealing with grief over the loss of your marriage. It is as real as any grief you would experience had you lost someone you love to death. There are real emotions involved and those emotions can take a physical toll like exhaustion. Be gentle with yourself-you can't give away what you don't have and it's obvious that you take great joy in giving to others. May I humbly give you permission to rest? I know sometimes keeping busy seems like a great escape, but in the end it can just wear you down and wear you out. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

  7. Becky, you made my nose sting and salty water come into my eyes, dang it. :) xo

  8. It's my gift! :) Seriously-I meant every word!

  9. Does not going to the meeting (good choice!) mean that you got out of washing your hair too?? ;)

    It's no wonder you're exhausted with all you have to do and all the stress you've been under. Be nice to yourself.

  10. I don't think necessarily depressed, but maybe anxiety? I am a type A personality and when I went through a traumatic time in my life it seemed that instead of sinking into a funk, instead I threw myself (too much?) into everything I could, and then I could justify my anxiety as every project I was involved with instead of the real reason for feeling the way I was. Definitely make time for doing the things you love, maybe take The Peanut and picking out yarn of "the big list" of things you HAVE to do and make a separate list titled "Escape Ideas" to turn to when you need a break - those things should be fun for you and not remind you of chores and must-do's every time you look at the list. Hang in there, I so wish I could pop in for a day to help do chores and catch up and then maybe a girls night hanging out sipping under the stars - I have been overwhelmed lately too with the thought of trying to fit a 9 month deployment's worth of life into the 5 weeks he has left here with the family and I could use a night off of the anxiety too!


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