tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12847808.post4256206617903770675..comments2024-03-08T02:15:29.016-06:00Comments on Beyond the Fork in the Road: A RealizationChicken Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11704834273210183660noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12847808.post-80290886110186197982011-04-06T12:40:21.502-05:002011-04-06T12:40:21.502-05:00You poor thing...it is a horribly difficult thing ...You poor thing...it is a horribly difficult thing to go through. I went through it 18 years ago right after my daughter was born. I know it sounds cliche, but it will get better. Keep your head held high and keep moving on with your new life. Close that chapter and write your new one.<br /><br />And for your anger, didn't you say you have a huge pile of wood outside?? Grab your axe and start chopping - might help you work through it. Especially if you post some pictures on the wood first to help you aim properly :-)BrokenRoadFarmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09009162969006682361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12847808.post-73438041643670728822011-04-05T19:47:07.323-05:002011-04-05T19:47:07.323-05:00That was the most expressive and eloquently put po...That was the most expressive and eloquently put post that you have ever written my friend!<br /><br />No shame, no puking. YOU deserve to let it out. And don't you dare feel bad about "Outting" him. You did, ever so bravely, what he couldn't do. Be truthful. <br /><br />He's not a man if he can't stand tall. You don't need to protect him and you don't need to respect him. <br /><br />You can stand tall. You can look in the mirror. You can and will let that anger go someday. Everything has a course, and this one just needs to run. I've been told that the average person takes five years -five- to recover from a divorce. You just have the one that keeps on giving and resets that damn clock!<br /><br />Hang in there sweet cheeks...<br /><br />God I love you!!!!The Apple Pie Galhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10340020795649093810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12847808.post-12339200879342826822011-04-05T18:38:58.046-05:002011-04-05T18:38:58.046-05:00Your ex was never a real man. Only little boys act...Your ex was never a real man. Only little boys act selfishly like he has by cheating and then go off to play mountain climber or whatever. Your ex is still in his "terrible twos". You were the only adult in the marriage and you deserve a mature man who can respond to you and love you like an adult. At least you are now free of that "two year old" and his dirty, crappy diapers.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12847808.post-64397484953691800402011-04-05T17:43:15.418-05:002011-04-05T17:43:15.418-05:00Anger is not wrong. It's an emotion that can ...Anger is not wrong. It's an emotion that can be productive as long as it doesn't consume you. Anger is only unhealthy when you are unable or unwilling to deal with it. Having a healthy outlet like writing is so great and I can tell you process a lot of your thoughts as you write. Keep it up. I recently sat with someone who had for several weeks written out her thoughts and feelings of anger about being betrayed by her husband. When she felt that she has purged it all, we sat and burned every single piece of paper. Even through tears, she felt as though she had gotten most of it out and could now move on. Doing things like that are symbolic, but they really do help. I know you will figure your own way to get through this-you're strong and brave and you deserve time to let yourself be angry and grieve it all, and then, when you least expect it, you'll find yourself not thinking about it as much and life will return. And-there are a lot of good men out there-don't let one dog keep you from finding joy in a new relationship when you're ready.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12847808.post-56272416780971530172011-04-05T16:49:32.447-05:002011-04-05T16:49:32.447-05:00His actions are no reflection on you. You trusted ...His actions are no reflection on you. You trusted him and he abused that trust. If he doesn't like what you're writing about now, he can go somewhere else.<br /><br />As for your anger, vent away. Then go visualize his face on a log and chop some wood :)Jenyfer Matthewshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10769550148821002722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12847808.post-62639648127635891692011-04-05T16:42:43.020-05:002011-04-05T16:42:43.020-05:00You are not alone and neither are you foolish or s...You are not alone and neither are you foolish or stupidly blind.<br />My father cheated on my mom all 28 years of their "marriage" . What can I say, my mom is a wonderful ,loving, trusting soul and he is a lying scumbag. It has been 28 years since they splitup and I still harbor major resentment at my father for all the pain he caused my mom. Some days life just calls for a good scream..... go out into the woods and let one loose.<br /><br />TinaHAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12847808.post-5297010571260211942011-04-05T16:19:58.520-05:002011-04-05T16:19:58.520-05:00His behavior reflects badly on him and not you. Y...His behavior reflects badly on him and not you. You have shown yourself to be a person of sterling character and you should feel proud of your behavior. You did all the right things and your ex did not. <br /><br />He may have fooled you but he lost your love and that sounds like something of great worth.Sparklesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02806553694200529082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12847808.post-51040322757053940502011-04-05T16:18:51.093-05:002011-04-05T16:18:51.093-05:00I hear you about not knowing what to do with anger...I hear you about not knowing what to do with anger. I grew up in a household with PLENTY of anger, but it was all so inappropriately expressed that when anger rears its ugly head around me, I just get uber rational. I can't tolerate it, and I don't do well with it. It's a tough one for most people. I think the writing idea is a great one. I also think that screaming at the top of your lungs (hell, you live in the middle of nowhere! go for it!) and chopping wood feel pretty good.<br />As for Tom reading your blog....to second Erin, it is YOUR BLOG. If he can't handle what you are writing, he doesn't have to read it.<br />As for you being foolish: no, no, no. You are loving and trusting and all the things a person needs to be to have a happy marriage. The other truth, though, is that it takes TWO people like that. Not one loving, trusting person and one selfish, deceptive person. I'm so sorry you got so burned and hurt and torn up, but know that you are wonderful and NOT at fault.Clairehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04959920540469457941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12847808.post-39017796302459356012011-04-05T16:08:48.107-05:002011-04-05T16:08:48.107-05:00My x cheated on me as well. I found out about it b...My x cheated on me as well. I found out about it before the divorce. You have nothing to feel shame about; you acted in good faith. <br /><br />We can't control behavior of others, and it's a hard lesson to learn. I'm confident, though, that there are people out who there who absolutely are worthy of my trust. It helps me to look forward and not back.LindaCOhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10316183776592482615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12847808.post-32301131533274106952011-04-05T14:59:39.454-05:002011-04-05T14:59:39.454-05:00I'm going to say it again - you are NOT the fo...I'm going to say it again - you are NOT the fool. Don't think for a minute that people that know what he's about see his actions as clever or you as foolish. When people have heard or seen what he has been up to I guarantee you they feel very, very badly for you and the way you were being treated. Not all people have the ability or courage to speak up, be it the position it would put them in or or that it's just their nature. Not one person would think you are a fool, only that he is a crappy excuse for a trustworthy husband and that you deserve so much more. <br /><br />Stop worrying about him reading the blog, it's YOUR blog and if he's concerned about what you write...it's one of those things where "he should have thought about it before..."! <br /><br />You are an amazing, beautiful, smart, self-sufficient and trusting woman that was made that way by being raised in loving family and home... look at it that way - now who's the foolish one? Hope he's reading... I'm feeling in a particularly "shoe up the boot" mood today :) I hope you have a nice evening concentrating on what everyone else besides him thinks of you, that's real!Erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06916896512933101955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12847808.post-35698886035082624822011-04-05T14:31:45.666-05:002011-04-05T14:31:45.666-05:00I am sure I will not be the first one to tell you ...I am sure I will not be the first one to tell you that you are beating yourself up for being yourself. It's counter-productive, to say the least. Being angry is NOT a bad thing. It is a good thing (within reason, of course). Do not let the many failings of your ex taint the good person that you are. Being supportive, loving, open, and caring is all part of who you are. Did he deserve your love? No. Is it your fault for not seeing it? Absolutely not. Is he a small, self-centered sociopath? Yes. I could go on - and I will, but will send you a personal email.Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12573143203599624833noreply@blogger.com